


You Miss The Place You Hate The Most

by skeleton_girl



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rated T for swearing, projects onto bubby and runs for it, this was a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27487033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skeleton_girl/pseuds/skeleton_girl
Summary: Bubby's been acting quiet all day. Dr. Coomer helps him feel better until he's able to find his words.
Relationships: Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	You Miss The Place You Hate The Most

**Author's Note:**

> I almost titled this "Bubby Lives In A Society" but decided against it. You're welcome

Bubby had been quiet all day. Normally when Dr. Coomer noticed someone acting differently he'd ask if something was wrong, but he'd known Bubby for so long that he didn't need to do that any more.  
  
They spent the day at home together, and Dr. Coomer made Bubby coffee while he worked at his desk. When he noticed he was getting particularly frustrated with the equation he was working on, he suggested they go for a walk. He pointed out anything that he found interesting, rambling on about them as he guided Bubby through the streets hand-in-hand. They decided to have the greasiest burgers they could find (even though Bubby had so many options outside of Black Mesa, sometimes you just want to have shitty fast food), and sat down at the park for dinner.  
  
Coomer laid his coat on the grass for Bubby to sit on, and that finally got a smile out of him.  
  
"You know I don't give a shit about grass stains," he said.  
  
"I know," Dr. Coomer said, giving Bubby a kiss on the forehead.  
  
Bubby took the pickles out from his burger and gave them to Coomer, and the two of them ate in relative silence as the sun gradually sank below the horizon. Coomer leaned against Bubby's shoulder and took his hand, and waited for him to find his words.  
  
.........  
................  
  
  
"...Is it bad that I miss it sometimes?"  
  
"Miss what, Bubby?"  
  
"You know what," Bubby said, elbowing him gently. "Black Mesa."  
  
"I don't think that's bad at all," Coomer said honestly. "It was your home until recently."  
  
"But it was terrible," Bubby argued. "I was raised in a _tube_ for god's sake. I couldn't leave, or even visit half of the places in the facility. The food was shitty, and not the good kind of shitty like this," he gestured to their empty burger wrappers and leftover fries, "the bad kind of shitty. Everything was military controlled, and if you stepped out of line for even a second, you were punished. They hurt me, they hurt _you_ , and all of our friends... how could missing that be okay?"  
  
"But those aren't _actually_ the things you miss about Black Mesa, right?" Bubby was silent for a long moment, before he shook his head gently.  
  
"...So what _do_ you miss about it?" Dr. Coomer asked. Bubby sighed.  
  
"I don't know. I guess it was... familiar? I knew why I was there, what I was supposed to do, where I was supposed to go. I don't feel that way now. I can't just go out and get lunch if I want to, because I don't know where anything is. And I can't just... get a job somewhere else like you, or Gordon, or Tommy could. As far as the world knows, I don't exist!"  
  
Bubby sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his head into his arms. His voice was muffled in the fabric of his shirt as he spoke.  
  
"I'm supposed to be excited, right? I have a fresh start! So many people wish for that! But I just feel overwhelmed. Everything is different. Normal people get _some_ preparation before they get thrown out into the world, but I got nothing. I don't know anything I'm _supposed_ to know. I've never bought anything, or gotten mail, or picked out my own clothes. I don't even know how to ride a bike!"  
  
He turned his head so he was looking at Coomer.  
  
"Doesn't everyone know how to ride a bike? I feel like that's something most people learn."  
  
"Not everyone knows how to ride a bike, Bubby," he said, reaching forward and pulling off his glasses. "And be careful, you're going to bend your glasses." Bubby rolled his eyes and took his glasses back, pushing them up the bridge of his nose with his index finger.  
  
"My glasses are _fine_ , thank you very much," he said, his voice lacking its usual bite. He sighed again, and turned to the side, laying his head onto Dr. Coomer's lap.  
  
"I just don't understand how I'm supposed to like... be a person." Coomer cupped his cheek in one hand, rubbing small circles against it with his thumb.  
  
"I'm afraid that'll just take time, my dear Bubby," he said.  
  
"You know I hate waiting," Bubby said. He attempted to scowl at him, but he couldn't help smiling a bit as he spoke.  
  
"Well, if you really want..." Coomer said, pausing dramatically. "I could teach you how to ride a bike."  
  
Bubby laughed for the first time all day, and Coomer couldn't help staring at the way his face lit up when he did.  
  
"You know what," Bubby said, "I think that'll be a good start."  
  
Coomer leaned back against the grass, so they both were looking up at the sky. They had been there so long that the stars were coming out.  
  
"And Darnold could teach you how to fly a kite!" He said excitedly. "And I'm sure Tommy would be more than happy to help you choose your wardrobe, he has a very vibrant closet! You know, Gordon was suggesting we have a barbeque the other day..."  
  
As Coomer began listing off all the things they could do together, Bubby felt the anxiety that was tightening his chest loosen it's grip gradually. As it turned out, having infinite choices wasn't as frightening if he didn't have to make them all on his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said in the tags, this was a vent fic. If you can relate to this, know that I see you, and I believe in you.


End file.
